Ship Trash Coffee
by CPT Admen
Summary: An idea I had about my two favorite ships getting coffee with each other. Yes it's impossible, but it's also entirely self indulgent fan fiction :).


"Not a coffee drinker, Shepard?" Ally asked.

Shepard sipped her chai and shook her head. "Nah, too much caffeine."

"So…" Ally and Lisa said together, eliciting a small chorus of giggling.

"How did you two meet?" Liara asked.

"Ally found my stuff on the internet, we started talking, the rest is history," Lisa replied.

"I mean, that's how I found her too. Are you just a domme magnet Lisa?" Shepard teased.

"Hmhm maybe!"

Ally leaned over and rested her head on her wife. "Oh no, she is a domme magnet! Help! I can't get away!" Lisa laughed and Ally hugged her tight, planting a noisy kiss on her cheek.

"Cuuuuute. I got Liara to read some of your work too."

"I loved it. It gave us both a few ideas," Liara said, curling her arm around Shepard's.

"Such as?" Ally teased.

Lisa smiled apologetically and nudged her. "Sorry, you don't have to tell if you don't want to."

"Oh I'm fine with it. Liara?"

"Within reason, Jane," the asari teased, putting a finger to Shepard's nose.

"Hmhm! Yes dear." Shepard turned back to their new friends. "I finally convinced this one to try a flogger."

"And?" Ally asked.

"We own three or four of them now."

"She ever made you hold it in your teeth?" Lisa asked Liara.

"Hm? No?"

"Try it Shepard, it's fun. I like to punish Lisa if she drops my little toy," Ally said tracing a finger over Lisa's jawline. Jane hummed and grinned, Liara and Lisa stifled embarrassed laughs.

"Usually there's something else in her mouth, but I might try that some time."

"Shepard!" Liara scolded, though she was smiling wide and doing her best not to laugh.

Her bondmate rested her head on her shoulder. "It's Ally and Lisa, love. Their friend Alan has made how many things for us now? I think they've figured out the details of our kinky escapades."

"I know, I know," Liara said, burying her nose in Jane's hair.

"Seems we both have a thing for red hair," Ally teased.

"Mmm, I refuse to let Jane change hair products. The brand smells like…her," Liara said, happily basking in her love's embrace. Feeling bold she lightly nipped her ear, drawing a tiny squeak from her. Lisa giggled and Ally bit her lip.

"Hey Shepard, frustrating that you can't do that?" the raven tressed domme teased.

"Ooo, harsh. Do asari have an equivalent erogenous zone?" Lisa asked.

"Believe it or not they do," Shepard said with a teasing smirk. She gently tickled the tip of one of Liara's crests and the asari wriggled from the unexpected stimulation.

Ally and Lisa laughed, Liara squeezed her bondmate and said "Mmf, now that is cheating."

"Any other advice?" Shepard asked. "I mean, I'd like to think I'm pretty good but you're on another level."

Ally hugged Lisa to her and kissed her cheek again. "Yes, make sure you give your wife lots of kisses. Tell her you love her at least twice a day and let her be the big spoon sometimes."

"And never let her get out of bed without a fight," Lisa added nuzzling her love.

"Oh she has that well in hand," Liara said, looking playfully at Jane. "I have to keep a datapad on my bedside now because she refuses to let go of my waist some mornings."

"Heh, sometimes I think this one just likes to cling to me so I have an excuse to spank her," Ally said, taking a sip of her coffee.

Lisa stuck her tongue out. "Darn, she figured me out."

"Spanks and snuggles, both good," Ally added.

"That could be the name of your biography," Shepard said.

"Not bad, but I have a different name in mind," Lisa said.

"That reminds me, I've got two requests I wanted to bring up, one for Alan and one for Anne actually."

Ally raised her eyebrows. "Ooo, fun. Whatcha got?"

"From Alan, I wanted to get a new collar made for a certain bondmate." Liara blushed and shifted in her seat.

"Deets?" Ally asked.

"Regular black leather, but cursive writing on it. 'I belong to Jane Shepard.'"

"Niiiice," Lisa said to Shepard.

"Actually, the text was my idea," Liara said bashfully. Everyone giggled, even her.

"The other is actually an idea you gave me, Lisa," Shepard said.

"If it's from Anne I'm guessing it's a tattoo?" Lisa replied.

"Mhm! Same text, buuuut it's going somewhere…different."

"Lower areas, near the bottom?" Ally teased.

"Maaaaaybe," Shepard said.

Liara scratched her neck. "That one came from both of us really."

"We'll see what she can come up with," Ally said. A brief quiet fell around the table.

"So, can this be a regular thing?" Lisa asked.

"Assuming we keep finding impossibly convenient tears in the space between multiverses, I'd love to," Shepard replied.

"Let's both bring a few friends along next time, you guys need to meet Alan and Anne, and we've gotta meet Tali and Garrus," Ally added.

"I'll see what I can do about establishing a more permanent link between worlds," Liara said, already thinking.

"Perks of being the Shadowbroker's bondmate?" Ally teased.

"Oh yeah. She's the best," Shepard said, pecking Liara's cheek.

The waiter came by. "Everything all right?"

"Yes, I think we're ready for a check," Shepard said.

"This one's on us," Ally added quickly.

"Oh no, not this time. We've got it," Shepard said.

"You sure?"

"Ally, we have a lot of credits. You've got plenty of money, we have far too much. Let us cover the coffee at least," Liara said. Ally and Lisa looked at each other.

"Mrs. Carter and Mrs. Carter, we insist," Shepard said, holding her omnitool out to the waiter.

"Okay, if you must," Ally said, putting up her hands.

Lisa took her arm. "Heh, 'Mrs. Carter.' Still makes me all fuzzy inside."

The waiter took the scan and nodded curtly. "Thank you for choosing Rubart's inter-multiverse Coffee."

"Same time next week?" Ally said.


End file.
